i found a fortune today when i was cleaning. it was from a fortune cookie i ate this last summer.
"you will make many changes before settling down happily."
dang.
who knew these things are actually true sometimes?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
so here's to you, my dearest friends
I'm having a hard time processing all the different thoughts and emotions that are going through my mind right now. As I sit here at the table in my apartment, procrastinating about cleaning and packing, I am alone with my thoughts and that might not be a good thing.
I don't want to say goodbye.
I am sitting here thinking back over this year and there are so many things to be thankful for, so many things that I have triumphed over, so many things that I have learned, so many memories that I have lived. I can look back with a lot of pain--this year has been one of the most painful and emotionally difficult years of my life, but I can also look back with amazement at how fun this year has been in spite of that. And I credit that to my friends. Thank God for my friends. I never would have survived without them. My heart literally feels pain and I tear up when I think about parting ways with them. So here's to you friends. I know I am bad at verbally expressing how much you all mean to me, so I am going to do it in the way I know how.
Jessi. I can't think about leaving you without crying. I am sitting here sobbing right now. You are my sister, one of the few who knows me best. You have been a major part of my life for the past 22 years. And in a few weeks, that is going to change. I don't want to think about what it is going to be like to not be living near you. I know that our relationship is best when we can each take our space, but in spite of that, I feel like we have gotten a lot closer in these college years, and I have really enjoyed that. You were there, waiting there for me when I returned from one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. You were there when I needed encouragement about who I was. You were there to talk, to listen, and to give advice. You have been part of my healing. Thank you. I love you so much. No matter where we end up in the next few years, always remember that I love you. We are family, and my love runs deep. Deeper than you will ever know.
Chelsea. You are my roommate. You are my confidant. You were there when a relationship was built, and you were there when it crumbled. You too waited for me with open arms. I am so thankful for the day when we decided that we should and could be friends. You are fun, give good advice, and you are quirky and funny :) You are beautiful in so many ways. You have been an encouragement in my growing process. I know that we have had our times this year when things have been difficult. But those times I feel, helped us to grow stronger and closer together. We have been tested and know that we can survive. Wherever we go, wherever we end up, I will always love you and count you as one of my closest friends.
Tara. You have been one of the most pleasant surprises for me this year. I know this may sound bad, but at the beginning of this year I didn't really like you and I didn't want to live with you. But lands sakes alive am I ever so glad that you are here with me friend. I absolutely love you with all my heart! You friend, are one of the biggest influences I have had this year in making me a happier person. You have taught me how to live. You have taught me how to change my perspectives, to be accepting, to be open and loving. Thank you for that amazing gift. I love your passion Tara. I hope to be like you someday.
Nick. Chico we have had some good times. You have seen me at my best, and you have seen me at my worst. Thank you for loving me in spite of all that. Thank you for all your support. It means a lot to me, all the late night taco bell runs and drives when I just needed to talk. You were there to listen, you were there to pray. You have been very selfless with your time. I appreciate it so much. We did not know each other very well at the beginning of this year, but that has changed drastically. I am so glad that you worked to draw me out of my shell. You too, have been a huge influence in changing my perspectives. Who would have ever thought that we would be such good friends? You have taught me to embrace life as well. You have taught me how to laugh again. Thank you. I love you so much.
Ben. You are another that I did not know very well at the beginning of this year. But that has changed and I love you so much now. I am so appreciative of your helpfulness. It amazes me how giving you are. You were part of my healing process as well, even if you didn't know it. You were always there for hugs if I needed them. Your thoughtfulness is very much appreciated friend!
Chris. My fellow introvert! I did not know you very well at the beginning of this year either. But that has changed. I have enjoyed getting to know you so much. You too are very thoughtful and helpful, and that is so nice. I can't thank you enough for all your help on spanish papers and english papers, I don't know what I would have done without you. It is so nice to have someone who understands my personality a bit more than others do. I have enjoyed all our talks over popsicles, during SM class, and other random times. You have taught me to enjoy simple things in life, like stars, rain, the feel of the weather outside, the thrill of a good run. You have introduced me to so much music that I absolutely love. Thanks for all the times that you offer me an escape when I need one. I am sad that I am just getting to know you as we are all parting ways. I wish you well on your SM year. If God wills it and we both end up in the same place, I would be thrilled. But if not, then take Argentina by storm my friend!
There are many others that I have enjoyed getting to know and appreciate so much. Tyler. You friend have livened up my life. Allison Gerard. I love you a ton! I am so glad that you moved in with us! I wish we could have had more time together. Gabe. Babe. You are so fun! I have enjoyed playing volleyball and hanging out with you so much this year. Thanks for your friendship. Brittany Graves. We have gotten to know each other better this year, and I have enjoyed that a lot. You are so hospitable and friendly. I hope to be like that someday. Alisa, Elisa, Lori, Shelly, Nate, Kristina, Justin Jones, I have enjoyed every minute of spending time with you guys and getting to know you better. Again, I wish we could have had more time together.
I cannot adequately describe in words how much I love you all. I only hope that at least a fraction of my emotion and gratitude is conveyed in my words.
Wherever the Lord leads us, whatever circumstances shape us, whatever amount of time and space separate us, I will not forget you guys and one of the most blessed years I have had in my life. I will not forget.
I don't want to say goodbye.
I am sitting here thinking back over this year and there are so many things to be thankful for, so many things that I have triumphed over, so many things that I have learned, so many memories that I have lived. I can look back with a lot of pain--this year has been one of the most painful and emotionally difficult years of my life, but I can also look back with amazement at how fun this year has been in spite of that. And I credit that to my friends. Thank God for my friends. I never would have survived without them. My heart literally feels pain and I tear up when I think about parting ways with them. So here's to you friends. I know I am bad at verbally expressing how much you all mean to me, so I am going to do it in the way I know how.
Jessi. I can't think about leaving you without crying. I am sitting here sobbing right now. You are my sister, one of the few who knows me best. You have been a major part of my life for the past 22 years. And in a few weeks, that is going to change. I don't want to think about what it is going to be like to not be living near you. I know that our relationship is best when we can each take our space, but in spite of that, I feel like we have gotten a lot closer in these college years, and I have really enjoyed that. You were there, waiting there for me when I returned from one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. You were there when I needed encouragement about who I was. You were there to talk, to listen, and to give advice. You have been part of my healing. Thank you. I love you so much. No matter where we end up in the next few years, always remember that I love you. We are family, and my love runs deep. Deeper than you will ever know.
Chelsea. You are my roommate. You are my confidant. You were there when a relationship was built, and you were there when it crumbled. You too waited for me with open arms. I am so thankful for the day when we decided that we should and could be friends. You are fun, give good advice, and you are quirky and funny :) You are beautiful in so many ways. You have been an encouragement in my growing process. I know that we have had our times this year when things have been difficult. But those times I feel, helped us to grow stronger and closer together. We have been tested and know that we can survive. Wherever we go, wherever we end up, I will always love you and count you as one of my closest friends.
Tara. You have been one of the most pleasant surprises for me this year. I know this may sound bad, but at the beginning of this year I didn't really like you and I didn't want to live with you. But lands sakes alive am I ever so glad that you are here with me friend. I absolutely love you with all my heart! You friend, are one of the biggest influences I have had this year in making me a happier person. You have taught me how to live. You have taught me how to change my perspectives, to be accepting, to be open and loving. Thank you for that amazing gift. I love your passion Tara. I hope to be like you someday.
Nick. Chico we have had some good times. You have seen me at my best, and you have seen me at my worst. Thank you for loving me in spite of all that. Thank you for all your support. It means a lot to me, all the late night taco bell runs and drives when I just needed to talk. You were there to listen, you were there to pray. You have been very selfless with your time. I appreciate it so much. We did not know each other very well at the beginning of this year, but that has changed drastically. I am so glad that you worked to draw me out of my shell. You too, have been a huge influence in changing my perspectives. Who would have ever thought that we would be such good friends? You have taught me to embrace life as well. You have taught me how to laugh again. Thank you. I love you so much.
Ben. You are another that I did not know very well at the beginning of this year. But that has changed and I love you so much now. I am so appreciative of your helpfulness. It amazes me how giving you are. You were part of my healing process as well, even if you didn't know it. You were always there for hugs if I needed them. Your thoughtfulness is very much appreciated friend!
Chris. My fellow introvert! I did not know you very well at the beginning of this year either. But that has changed. I have enjoyed getting to know you so much. You too are very thoughtful and helpful, and that is so nice. I can't thank you enough for all your help on spanish papers and english papers, I don't know what I would have done without you. It is so nice to have someone who understands my personality a bit more than others do. I have enjoyed all our talks over popsicles, during SM class, and other random times. You have taught me to enjoy simple things in life, like stars, rain, the feel of the weather outside, the thrill of a good run. You have introduced me to so much music that I absolutely love. Thanks for all the times that you offer me an escape when I need one. I am sad that I am just getting to know you as we are all parting ways. I wish you well on your SM year. If God wills it and we both end up in the same place, I would be thrilled. But if not, then take Argentina by storm my friend!
There are many others that I have enjoyed getting to know and appreciate so much. Tyler. You friend have livened up my life. Allison Gerard. I love you a ton! I am so glad that you moved in with us! I wish we could have had more time together. Gabe. Babe. You are so fun! I have enjoyed playing volleyball and hanging out with you so much this year. Thanks for your friendship. Brittany Graves. We have gotten to know each other better this year, and I have enjoyed that a lot. You are so hospitable and friendly. I hope to be like that someday. Alisa, Elisa, Lori, Shelly, Nate, Kristina, Justin Jones, I have enjoyed every minute of spending time with you guys and getting to know you better. Again, I wish we could have had more time together.
I cannot adequately describe in words how much I love you all. I only hope that at least a fraction of my emotion and gratitude is conveyed in my words.
Wherever the Lord leads us, whatever circumstances shape us, whatever amount of time and space separate us, I will not forget you guys and one of the most blessed years I have had in my life. I will not forget.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
If--
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
Monday, April 19, 2010
untitled
the questions, the projected answers are swirling around in my head.
did i do enough, did i do too little, or did i just pretend?
confidence and uncertainty exchange unwarranted blows,
while the onlookers mock them relentlessly, turning everyone into foes.
"i shall conquer this" "no you shan't" swap echoes on the hills.
"i will fight" "no you will die" a wraith voice eerily trills.
construction of the soundest sort is promptly underway,
with guilt and love mixing mortar strong the foundations firmly lay.
to hades, best intentions pave, most of the time succeeding,
the regrets, the joys, those trials severe, one of which is silently retreating.
the torture, the bliss, oh when will it all somehow transform
to be strong, to surrender to that idyllic poisonous storm.
i push away, i pull too close, the line is crossed over yet,
but will that line one day too soon, discover and forget
the piquancy, the appeal, the developing interests wide
no, it shall not want it like a beach never quite wants the tide.
shriveled hurt, those pains again, a stab wound here or there
are eased away with even more pain and the gentlest of care.
but like a cannon's echoing roar the damage returns again,
insanity, and destiny soon commandeer my dwindling ken.
i shall not know, i shall not discover what deep purposes lie
within my grasp, embedded there, until i say goodbye.
did i do enough, did i do too little, or did i just pretend?
confidence and uncertainty exchange unwarranted blows,
while the onlookers mock them relentlessly, turning everyone into foes.
"i shall conquer this" "no you shan't" swap echoes on the hills.
"i will fight" "no you will die" a wraith voice eerily trills.
construction of the soundest sort is promptly underway,
with guilt and love mixing mortar strong the foundations firmly lay.
to hades, best intentions pave, most of the time succeeding,
the regrets, the joys, those trials severe, one of which is silently retreating.
the torture, the bliss, oh when will it all somehow transform
to be strong, to surrender to that idyllic poisonous storm.
i push away, i pull too close, the line is crossed over yet,
but will that line one day too soon, discover and forget
the piquancy, the appeal, the developing interests wide
no, it shall not want it like a beach never quite wants the tide.
shriveled hurt, those pains again, a stab wound here or there
are eased away with even more pain and the gentlest of care.
but like a cannon's echoing roar the damage returns again,
insanity, and destiny soon commandeer my dwindling ken.
i shall not know, i shall not discover what deep purposes lie
within my grasp, embedded there, until i say goodbye.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
what else?
In the last 24 hours, I have had many a startling thing happen to me. I'm sure you've experienced things like that, where you get all nervous feeling in your stomach for a split second. Or those things that elicit a surprised, high-pitched squeal that you instantly regret almost as soon as it happens....
Well I have had many of those things happen to me. It all started last night. The assignment was to read a play. I had spread out my body pillow on the floor, fluffed it just right, gotten all squished down in it, and was minding my own business when all of the sudden one of those horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede things ran right by my arm and under the chair I was near. Surprised, I jumped back in fear and let out a quick squeal.
Tara searched for the awful thing to kill it, even going to the extent of lifting the chair to look under it. But it had disappeared. Disgruntled, I moved my reading to the table, trying to concentrate on my reading but stopping to look at the floor for a glance of the unwelcome intruder every 3 seconds.
Today was filled with fearful moments as well. This morning, in my rush to get to class, I almost walked into a moving car.
Then I had a moment of fear the instant before I looked at my grade on my research paper for Dr. Haluska's class. Later as I was leaving work, I had a moment of terror when a bee almost flew up my skirt. Yikes!
After lunch I was heading back to work when I had that good old fearful feeling back for a split second when I had a dreaded sensation that the back of my dress just might be tucked into my leggings. But luckily it wasn't. Phew. But nevertheless, my heart was beating fast from the close encounter.
Later, when I was cleaning my house very tentatively in fear of discovering the centipede, I had the music blaring when I went into my room. I heard a favorite song come on and was about to bust a move on my way out the door when I opened it to find Nick right there. Ding. Another split second of fear.
Our kitchen was a mess. I started to clean it, putting dishes in the dishwasher, putting food away. As I started to move some extra dishes out of the sink, I screamed and jumped back three feet. There, scurrying about the sink like he owned it, his little antennae flicking about was my arch-nemisis: the horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede. What the heck was he doing there?! My heart was pounding as I frantically called Nick to come back fast, standing guard all the while with a pasta scooper should the intruder decide to advance any further. Thankfully Nick came and disposed of the creature and left. I promptly bleached the sink and every surrounding surface. The idea of bleaching my fruit that had been sitting out crossed my mind as well.
I tried to calm myself down with the knowledge that it was gone, squished, never to be heard from again while I swept the floor. But as I was sweeping, what should come walking nonchalantly out from under the counter but ANOTHER horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede, albeit a slightly smaller one. "WHAT?!" I roared.
This was the final straw. They were invading MY kitchen. I had anger-fueled gumption as I unloaded the wrath of my flip-flopped foot on the miserable thing. He never knew what hit him. Later, as I plucked legs that were still moving out of the bottom of my shoe with 15 layers of paper towel, I shuddered to think that my foot had been somewhere near that thing. Ugh.
Thankfully that has been the last scare of the day. So far. It is only 8:30. Who knows what else could happen tonight....
Well I have had many of those things happen to me. It all started last night. The assignment was to read a play. I had spread out my body pillow on the floor, fluffed it just right, gotten all squished down in it, and was minding my own business when all of the sudden one of those horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede things ran right by my arm and under the chair I was near. Surprised, I jumped back in fear and let out a quick squeal.
Tara searched for the awful thing to kill it, even going to the extent of lifting the chair to look under it. But it had disappeared. Disgruntled, I moved my reading to the table, trying to concentrate on my reading but stopping to look at the floor for a glance of the unwelcome intruder every 3 seconds.
Today was filled with fearful moments as well. This morning, in my rush to get to class, I almost walked into a moving car.
Then I had a moment of fear the instant before I looked at my grade on my research paper for Dr. Haluska's class. Later as I was leaving work, I had a moment of terror when a bee almost flew up my skirt. Yikes!
After lunch I was heading back to work when I had that good old fearful feeling back for a split second when I had a dreaded sensation that the back of my dress just might be tucked into my leggings. But luckily it wasn't. Phew. But nevertheless, my heart was beating fast from the close encounter.
Later, when I was cleaning my house very tentatively in fear of discovering the centipede, I had the music blaring when I went into my room. I heard a favorite song come on and was about to bust a move on my way out the door when I opened it to find Nick right there. Ding. Another split second of fear.
Our kitchen was a mess. I started to clean it, putting dishes in the dishwasher, putting food away. As I started to move some extra dishes out of the sink, I screamed and jumped back three feet. There, scurrying about the sink like he owned it, his little antennae flicking about was my arch-nemisis: the horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede. What the heck was he doing there?! My heart was pounding as I frantically called Nick to come back fast, standing guard all the while with a pasta scooper should the intruder decide to advance any further. Thankfully Nick came and disposed of the creature and left. I promptly bleached the sink and every surrounding surface. The idea of bleaching my fruit that had been sitting out crossed my mind as well.
I tried to calm myself down with the knowledge that it was gone, squished, never to be heard from again while I swept the floor. But as I was sweeping, what should come walking nonchalantly out from under the counter but ANOTHER horrid, long-legged, freakishly fast centipede, albeit a slightly smaller one. "WHAT?!" I roared.
This was the final straw. They were invading MY kitchen. I had anger-fueled gumption as I unloaded the wrath of my flip-flopped foot on the miserable thing. He never knew what hit him. Later, as I plucked legs that were still moving out of the bottom of my shoe with 15 layers of paper towel, I shuddered to think that my foot had been somewhere near that thing. Ugh.
Thankfully that has been the last scare of the day. So far. It is only 8:30. Who knows what else could happen tonight....
Monday, April 12, 2010
today i will
Today in spanish class Dr. Parra said something during prayer that caught my attention:
We have confidence in you God.
It could have been a faulty translation on my part, but in my mind that is what stuck out, tripped me, and landed me flat on my face.
Today I got some news that was not necessarily that encouraging. But you know what? I remembered what Parra said.
So today, today i will have confidence in my God that he will work things out.
But I know Whom I believe in
And am persuaded
That He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto him against that day
We have confidence in you God.
It could have been a faulty translation on my part, but in my mind that is what stuck out, tripped me, and landed me flat on my face.
Today I got some news that was not necessarily that encouraging. But you know what? I remembered what Parra said.
So today, today i will have confidence in my God that he will work things out.
But I know Whom I believe in
And am persuaded
That He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto him against that day
Sunday, April 11, 2010
in the sunbeams
"Krista. Look. Everything human is going to fail you. Your boyfriend, your mom, your sister, your closest friends--all these will fail you at some point or another. They will not understand you completely. They will not fulfill your emotional needs. They will not be able to fully support you. But even though you have nothing left--I am here.
Earthly things will fail you, but I will not. They will never understand the essence of who you are, the innermost parts of your person, the quirks and turns of your personality, but I do. And I love you. They will never be able to meet your emotional needs, but I will. I have experienced every emotion known to man. I feel your pain. I know how to heal it. I understand your longing. I long for the world. Humans will never be able to fully support you, but I hold you in my hand every single second of every single day and I WILL NOT LET YOU GO.
You are mine little one. I am everything that you want and need. When you feel like you have reached the end of your rope, and you would rather die than wake up in the morning, know that I am there. I will sustain you. I will carry you when you are too weak to walk. I will uphold you with my strong right arm. Death is not what you want little one. You want life. Life in me. Life to its fullest potential is found in me. You may run away, but I will follow. You may ignore me, but I will persist in making myself known. You may feel like I am not there, like I am not listening. But I hear you. I'm just waiting for you to listen to me. You may feel like you are falling apart, like pieces of your heart are being chipped away, but I am refining you. I am making you stronger. I am making you into what I want you to be, not what others want you to be. You have growing pains, and it hurts. But I am the Balm of Gilead, I soothe every hurt. You may be losing your faith, but where you are weak, I am strong. I will prove myself to you until you can't but help believing.
I prove myself to you everyday, are you looking? I prove myself in the fact that you wake up every morning. Can you feel me? You are breathing. My kisses are in the sunbeams on your face. I whisper my love to you on the breeze. I am here, little one. Don't ever forget that. Believe in me. Trust me, because I am real. I live. I am the only thing you really need. Don't shut me out. I am working in you. I am changing you. I am growing you. Remain in me, even though it is hard. I will never fail you. Never. I promise."
Friday, April 2, 2010
the recipe
So I have this recipe. It's a recipe for soup. I have been working to perfect it most of my life. The catch is that I am making it from scratch and writing it down as I go. When one thing works, it makes it onto that little 4x6 index card; when something else doesn't work, it's back to the drawing board.
I naturally had to start with a base for the soup. I started with water, then I added a little butter. This seemed to be a good start but I needed to add some stuff that would make it heartier. So I added potatoes, and then decided that lentils would be good as well. I tasted it, and it was good, but it still needed more. I decided to add a rutabaga. When I tasted the soup with that addition, I promptly spit it out. Needless to say all the rutabaga chunks ended up in the garbage, not my soup.
After the rutabaga incident, I proceeded to add some stewed tomatoes. This definitely improved my soup, but I needed to add some stock veggies. I diced up some celery and threw that in. One by one more ingredients were being added to my soup and my index card. But when I looked at my soup, I noticed that it lacked color. So I went to the fridge and pulled out some green peppers and carrots and put them in. "Perfect," I thought, "my soup is now complete." But when I tasted it, it seemed rather bland. "Of course!" I exclaimed. "I forgot to add some spices to my soup!" I went to the spice rack and added some salt, sage, and bay leaves. I let that simmer awhile to let the spices blend in before I tasted it.
When I tasted it for what I thought was the final time, I realized that I had left out one of the most essential ingredients for cooking--onion. But here is where the problem begins. Although I love onions, I am terrified of them. You see, the first time I ever tried to cut an onion to put in my soup, the knife slipped and went deep into my hand. Not only was I cut, but the juice from what little bit of onion I did peel seeped into my cut and made it burn even worse. I still have the scars to prove it. Every single time I have tried to peel or cut an onion since then, the knife has slipped and I have cut myself over and over again, making me more and more afraid to even touch an onion, much less try to chop it.
But I can't stop trying. I love the taste of onions in my soup, especially when they get really transparent and thin. It adds so much flavor. But at this point I'm so scared to try putting an onion in my soup. They just end up burning me. Maybe I will just forget it. After all, I have all those other ingredients, and I'm running out of room on my index card.
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