i have the chronic problem of wishing away my life. i say that i have to have the next big event to look forward to, and when that doesn't happen soon enough, i wish away the months, weeks, days, and hours. and yet i dread the day when my time will run out.
right now i'm wishing away the minutes.
i can't stand desk jobs, because i don't like being chained to a computer and roller chair existence. but i can't stand jobs where i don't get a chance to sit down and rest my structurally retarded feet. if you ask me to come up with something creative for work, i will say that i can't, because i can't think on the spot, and my creativity needs some parameters. but then again, i abhor situations that don't make use of my wildly fanciful thought patterns.
right now my creativity is being called into action, but not in the way i want it to be.
i long for a brighter outlook, but get annoyed at people who are always happy. i wish that i wasn't so pessimistic, but i kind of really like being melancholy. i hate emotional roller coasters, but sometimes i just want to get really excited about something.
i have perfected the art of dead eyes, but right now i wish i weren't so good at it.
to say that i am inconsistent, indecisive, and a walking contradiction could possible be the understatement of the second. because in the next second it could change. and it wouldn't surprise me.
