i have always wished that God would just be straight forward with me. as in an audible voice that would tell me what i needed to hear. i mean He did it back in the bible times, right? well i don't get that voice. i don't get the pillars of cloud and fire. i don't get dreams telling me what to do. i don't get miraculous signs and wonders (unless i am just missing them?). sometimes i have felt that God doesn't communicate with me very much, if at all.
well, that is kind of changing. or maybe i am just slowly coming into recognition of how God actually does communicate with me and the means He uses.
He speaks to me through books. no joke. sounds crazy right? but it's true. it's even cooler because i LOVE to read. i was thinking about this last night, and while it might not strike anybody else as special, it is very special to me.
i've never been a good verbal communicator. i'm quiet, shy, and rarely speak my mind for fear of embarrassing myself or offending others. i have learned that if i want to communicate well, my best option is writing. it gives me time to think about what i want to say, to choose the exact way i want to present something. i put a lot of thought, time, and emotional energy into what i write. it's how i express my deep emotions. this is also why i am most deeply moved by things i read.
so it struck me last night, that God communicates with me in the way i will understand and appreciate best. He speaks to me in a manner that i very much enjoy, and a way that gives me time to personally take note and reflect. He speaks to me in the way that will get my attention and affect me most. just like my earthly father can move me to tears with the inscriptions in the front of books that he gives me, God does that too. what's more is that the information communicated to me is what i need to hear, exactly when i need to hear it. it's like His special little love language to me.
and i always think that i am just randomly picking up a book for fun. . . how foolish i am.
