so stuff has been happening lately to rock my mental world. i hate it when my inner peace is pushed aside for a tumultuous thought life. there are sometimes where i wish i could calmly tear out my brain, sew it up neatly, and collectedly go on my merry way.

nope. not possible here.

there is ugly stuff that comes out when my brain goes through this kind of process. stuff that i don't know how to sort through, and so i will either make a feeble attempt, or plastically push it back down into the recesses of my mind, even though i know it will come back with a vengeance later if I don't address it now.

stupid brain.